When I moved to San Francisco in May, everything went beyond smoothly. It went so well that, natural skeptic that I am, I was wondering if they were going a little
too well. From the job interview process to finding an apartment remotely in one of the country's most challenging rental markets, it was quite unbelievable that I was having this kind of luck.
So, when I packed up my car and set off across the desert, there was something in the back of my mind telling me that something was bound to go wrong. But my new roommates (who I had yet to meet) were responsive via text message and email. They answered all of my questions and, when I arrived, were sitting there waiting to help unload the car and had been wandering around the block to help with parking.
Once I was in the door, though, the signs were there. I suppose I chose not to pay attention. After all, I was floating on cloud nine, thrilled that I'd scored a killer place in a great neighborhood in San Francisco...all without setting foot in the city! But they were definitely there.
When I moved in and walked down the main hallway for the first time, I notice that every piece of available wall space was covered with bookcases.
No big deal, I thought,
they must really love reading! And as an avid reader, I know that books aren't always the easiest things to get rid of.
Then, there was the couple of bookcases filled with old CDs. Now, I had plenty of CDs back in the day that I had impeccably organized and displayed on a little wooden CD stand. I was proud of those things! Check out my amazing collection of Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls and Mariah Carey albums, everyone! But, as the music industry changed to go digital, my lovely CD cases were soon replaced by Sharpie-decorated blank mix CDs, which didn't lend themselves well to display cases. And then along came iPods and, before long, all my music was on my computer. I still have a few CDs in my car for the random day that my auxiliary cord isn't working, but that's it. Everything else has been donated in my various closet purges.
So, to see multiple bookcases filled with tons of CDs was a little bit of a mental time warp back to the early 2000s.
But, I reasoned,
they must be big music fans.
Next came the kitchen. The kitchen was one of the things that made me fall in love with this place on Craigslist. Big, tall ceilings with cabinets that stretched all the way up to the top. A sunroom that held even more shelving (perfect, I thought, for things like my stand mixer and my food processor!). An additional chest of drawers for more storage. I held on to a lot of glassware and cooking accessories that I maybe wasn't 100% in love with, thinking there would be plenty of space for my things.
Naturally, I was a bit surprised when my roommate showed me my kitchen drawer with much fanfare. "Here's your drawer for your things!" he exclaimed, "And you can have this one shelf here, too." He pointed at a wire rack drawer squeezed in an awkward six-inch space between the refrigerator and chest of drawers. The wire rack drawer was probably a foot deep and five inches wide.
"Great!" I said, thinking that I won't need to do a lot of grocery shopping anyways. "So, where can I put my coffee mugs and other things?"
He grimaced a bit and shrugged.
"I guess I can move a few things," he said, taking a few plain white coffee cups out of one cabinet, "Here. You can probably fit two or three in there now."
Hmm. This was not quite what I had in mind.
Oh well, though, I thought,
I have plenty of storage space in my room.
The tour continued. "Here's our blender, but it's broken right now." He pointed to a large, industrial-quality blender. "And our mixer, but it's broken, too." So, that's odd. Broken, huge kitchen appliances apparently get priority over my very usable ones. Hmm.
As time went on, I began to notice more and more little things here and there.
The first time I unloaded the dishwasher, there were several salad dressing bottles and pasta sauce jars inside. I sometimes will clean things before recycling them or reuse them, so it wasn't too surprising. What was surprising, though, was finding a shelf filled with more old salad dressing bottles and pasta sauce jars than anyone (except, possibly, someone with a side canning business...which they did not have) could possibly ever use. We're talking 30+ bottles. And apparently they were so important that they could not be recycled so I could have space in the kitchen?
Again, I shrugged it off.
They're into environmental causes, I thought,
they're just being cautious in case they need to reuse things someday.
The next week, three empty soap bottles in the bathroom piqued my attention. They'd been sitting there since I moved in. They weren't anything special—just standard, plastic soap bottles. Considering that they had a very nice metal-and-wood soap dispenser, I had no reasoning for this one.
It wasn't until they accidentally left their bedroom door open one day that I realized that there may be a problem here.
Let me preface this by saying I wasn't snooping or going into places I shouldn't. Their door was right across from mine, so I was just looking ahead as I walked out of my room.
At first, I just registered that their room was very dark, which struck me as odd since it was the middle of the day and they had huge bay windows in their room.
Then, I noticed ladders. Multiple ladders. Leaning up against two different walls that were both stacked nearly to the ceiling with boxes. There was a rolling clothing rack in the middle of the floor.
These people had been living in the apartment for more than six years. That's way too long to still have that many unpacked boxes. Especially when they also have a huge storage unit that is packed with other boxes. And all those bookcases. And all those cabinets in the kitchen.
Was I living with hoarders?
Still, the San Francisco rental market is crazy, so I didn't do anything about it. After all, who really cares that much as long as they keep most of the hoarded mess in their private space?
Then came my sick day.
I came down with a pretty intense sinus infection and opted to work from home one day. I woke up at my usual time, showered, and headed back to my room. Between hacking coughs, sneezes, blowing my nose enough to go through half a box of Kleenex, listening to music on my iPhone dock, and a conference call, I wasn't exactly being quiet in my room. I could hear as one of my roommates turned on the shower around 9am and then immediately headed to the living room, where he proceeded to watch very loud game shows.
Despite not really wanting to get up and wander through the living room to the kitchen, I was out of water. When you're loading yourself up on Mucinex, water is a must.
So, I dragged myself out of bed and walked down the hallway. As I walked towards the living room, I could see my roommate was lying on the couch. What I didn't realize until a few moments later was that he was lying there completely naked. And his hand was in a certain area that, you know, you should probably save for the bedroom when you have roommates.
"Oh, I didn't know you were home," he said, picking up a towel to cover his junk.
"Yeah, just needed water," I responded, diverting my eyes to the floor and not making eye contact. Needless to say, I got my water and got out of there.
There it was! The straw that was going to break this camel's back. I could shrug off the lack of space, the hoarding, the inordinately high rent I was paying for little more than a room...but I didn't sign up for roommates who apparently missed the memo on what happens in private and what happens in public. Nudity? Fine, no big deal. I live in San Francisco where naked people aren't an entirely uncommon weekend sighting. Masturbating? Yeah, not interested in seeing that, thanks.
He had the wife apologize for him which, again, I shrugged and smiled and said no problem. But Craigslist soon became the number one most viewed page on my computer as I started up the old SF apartment hunt yet again.
To update everyone who has not been reading my blog over the past few months, I now live with people who enjoy remaining fully clothed while in common areas. They also seem to have pretty healthy relationships where their belongings are concerned.
